ponderings

one day I would like to be a mother. I do not know if that day will ever come. My fear is that as long as I am living in this Country I will never be able to have children. I feel that I am being stopped from having children over somethings that I have no control over. For example I cannot control the laws of the American Goverment, that says, that a male non u.s citizen, can only get a an american green card through marriage, if his first or only wife, is American. I didn't put that law up, and I have no control over that law. I know that when I asked my husband whether or not the Green Card had anything to do with him waiting till we have children, and he said that it didn't/ But I have a feeling that it does. and if that's the case, then I will be waiting to have children for the rest of my life. On the other hand, if we leave this country I guess I would bring up the matter again. I really don't understand that if babies are supposed to be blessings than why do people go so through much trouble to prevent that blessing from coming into thier lifes?

It is paranoid to believe that most people are out to harm you in some way or another. If that is how you think than how can you make friends? Won't they end up hurting you one day intentionally or otherwise. And why should people trust you if you feel that you cannot trust them?